A Month in Review

When somebody said that time flies, he sure wasn't kidding. It's already two days into February, and looking back at my January blogging...there's only one measly entry! This after making a resolution to increase the quantity and quality of my blogs! Tsk tsk tsk...

Now that the rant is out of the way, it's time to get back to business.

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Anyway, my son has already put in a month in Nursery school. Here's how it went, per week:

Week 1

• Marked by daily bouts of separation anxiety. It was a chore-and-a-half for my mother-in-law to leave him in the classroom.
• Cried a lot in class, even heaving up at times because of excessive bawling. He's okay upon leaving the house, but his panic increases in direct proportion to his physical proximity to school. The fact that the rest of the kids were crying their eyes out, as well, did not really help.
• Didn't eat well during breaks (they are not allowed to bring in their own food, and he is used to being fed).
• The teachers discovered he could read, and so sometimes he was made to read aloud in front of the class. I'm guessing it's a welcome respite for the tired teachers!
• At the homefront, I implemented SSS - the Smiley Sticker Scheme. Each day that he "survives" school means a smiley sticker on the calendar. I also leave him little notes daily to encourage him to enjoy his classes.
• Reward for earning 3 smileys out of 5: a trip to Candy Empire to get his favourite sweets.

Week 2

• Missed two days of classes because of a throat infection. If you ask me, it was probably the stress catching up on him. That, or he had too much sweets from Candy Empire.
• Seemed to be getting used to the school routine. When I told him he was going to be absent" and what the word meant, he was genuinely sad and said, "I hate being absent!"
• Enjoyed going to school but was largely non-participative. According to my MIL (who watched discreetly from a window), my son didn't join the singing or the games. He just basically did his own thing, sometimes loitering around the classroom. I guess the teachers were just giving him a break and a chance to adjust better.
• Began to trust his form teacher. He gets to the door and immediately takes the teacher's hand. It was an almost no-tears week!
• 2 smileys out of 5. So no reward this week. Besides, he wasn't well enough to enjoy a day out, anyway.

Week 3

•   No more crying episodes in school. But then there's the bargaining. Like on the way to class, he tells his Grandma, "I'm sleepy" or he wants to watch TV "just five minutes longer."
• One time I brought him to school, he went out the classroom, close to tears, and told me he was tired, and where was I going? But I thought it's only because I was the one who brought him there, out of the routine, thus the clinginess.
• Another time, he had to stay behind for 30 minutes after dismissal. The reason? He refused to finish his school work! And it was just a colouring activity! His form teacher called in my MIL and asked her to stay with him, to get him to finish the work, because he refused to listen to them.
• Feedback from the form teacher: my son is extremely bright, but was very noisy in class. Can't stay seated. Doesn't pay attention to lessons. And refused to do his school work.
• As a result of the non-compliance, I had to write a letter to his teacher to explain my son's personality quirk. He abhors it when someone tells him to do something "just because"...he'll simply dig in his heels and refuse. You need to explain satisfactorily before he agrees (takes too much after the mother, I presume...). And, of course, he's been exposed to a structured environment for all of two weeks, so he still needed time to adjust. The separation anxiety alone was a big hurdle for him.
• Had to amend the SSS rules because of this. Instead of simply not crying, he now needs to participate and listen to his teachers for him to earn a smiley.
• However, since the brouhaha transpired towards the end of the week, and he had earned some smileys already, a promise was a promise: he still got his Timezone play time for getting 4 out of 5 smileys.

Week 4

• Greatly improved, especially after being given The Talk by his form teacher. I imagine being told you need to stay if your work is not done - to the extent of sleeping in the classroom unless you complete it - is enough to make a child behave. My son clarified, though, where it is he would sleep if there was no bed, and whether the lights and air-conditioning will be turned off. Gotta love this kid's spunk!
• He is more open now and tells us stories of what happened during his day. The first three weeks, he usually just responds with "I don't know" when asked. He now shares brief stories with us, provided we ask the right questions. I think he will learn to tell us about his day on his own, eventually.
• He now eats with relish, albeit slower than his classmates, and finishes his food (he said he didn't need to throw his buns in the trash bin anymore).
• 4 smileys out of 5: I took him out to eat in a favourite restaurant, and got him some new storybooks.

I was pleasantly surprised to receive an SMS from his form teacher yesterday. Here's what she told me: Thank you for your letter of appreciation and updating me on issues relating to your boy. You and your family had really contributed a lot toward Miguel's learning and intellect. He's a really bright boy and a joy to have in class. He's doing alright in class last week compared to the second week when he was here, he is listening to me when I told him to wait for his turn, or to give his friend a chance to talk. Give him some time and in no time he'll understand that there are rules to follow in school. He is also getting along well with his peers.

Now isn't that a delightful thing to hear?  I'm so proud of him. It earned him two smileys in a single day.

Todate, I am still keeping the daily ritual of leaving him notes. I think this is something I have to do the entire year; one time I forgot, he seemed genuinely disappointed. But I can live with the daily note-scribbling, considering the emotional benefits he reaps from them far outweighs the very small time or inconvenience it requires from me.

As far as rewards go, I still plan to give him the occasional treat. I am planning to try spacing the rewards, placing it at 2-week intervals instead of weekly ones. Let's see if it works. He is currently working on 10 smileys for a trip to the zoo.

So that's my son's month in review. I hope things keep getting better. He's not making much progress with his Chinese lessons, though, but that's another problem for another day. One step at a time, I'm positive we have the school year licked.

 

All photos courtesy of Getty Images