Another milestone has been added to my son's "resume": he's just been baptized last November 5...he's now officially a member of the Roman Catholic flock.
The baptism was held at Christ the King Parish, and the reception at Gerry's Grill. There was a pretty good turn-out in terms of attendance; most of the sponsors and other expected guests arrived, although there were a handful of no-shows. Some had work that day; most others were sick (I don't know what's wrong with the atmosphere now, there are so many sick people...in fact, my son just recently bounced back from a nasty cold).
My son's recuperation came just in time for the occasion...he was in such high spirits that day, as if he instinctively felt that it was a big day for him. He gamely went with anyone and everyone who wanted to carry him or play with him. In fact, he only took one short nap (around 30 minutes long), presumably just to recharge. After that, it was playtime all over again! And his photo ops, he's such a charmer for the camera...his sponsors were telling me how my son visibly loves the lens, he just looks directly into it and lets his adorable self shine through. That's my boy!
Speaking of photos, my only regret was that I forgot to take pictures of all the sponsors in front of the altar! Neither did we take pictures with our respective families! For someone as obssessive-compulsive as I am, that's just a disaster! So now, I just have a handful of photographs to speak of and to put in my albums. Sigh. But my husband just comforted me by saying that the most important thing is that he got baptized...small comfort for me, but bless his soul for knowing when to say the right thing...
It was a wonderful day for our family, we really enjoyed it. The ceremony went well, the food was great, my son was so well-behaved and sooooo charming...despite the lack of photographs to document it, I would like to think that the day was a major success!
Now my son is enjoying the beautiful gifts he received from his sponsors. He has a gazillion toys to be busy with right now, and he even has a high chair (something we've thought of getting, thank goodness we didn't get one yet; at least, we can spend the money on other things he needs).
So now that we got that over with, we're getting ready for his next big milestone: his first-ever Christmas =)
Thursday, November 9, 2006
Friday, October 27, 2006
Health Issues
My baby's sick =(
Nothing serious, really, just slight colds and cough according to the pediatrician. But of course it's still a sorry sight to see the little angel give out those coughs and sneezes...the bright side to that is he's such a brave boy, he's still smiling and happy despite the illness. And to think that it's only a couple of days before his baptism, sigh, poor baby.
He's got a new pediatrician, too. It's good that we found one just a block away from the house, a doctor who holds clinic 5 times a week in the afternoons. I just got fed up with his old pediatrician, who's only available like thrice a week for two hours per day -- and who never comes on time either! I got so mad yesterday because it's my baby's first time to be sick, and it's a sorry coincidence that she chose that day to get sick, too.
Okay, okay, I know doctors fall victim to ailments, too...but who can blame a first-time mommy like me for overreacting? So now I'm in the process of debating whether I should continue seeing the old pediatrician to continue with my son's immunization, at the very least, or to completely switch allegiance and see this new doctor whom I've never seen, but whom ironically I trust more than the old one. Mother's instinct? Maybe...
This new doctor found something of concern in my baby. Generally, my son's very, very healthy; in fact, she got surprised when she found out that this was his first bout with the cold. But she found a bilateral hydrocele in his balls. I researched this over the net and found it to be a normal condition among baby boys, and that it should resolve itself before he blows out his first birthday candle.
I'm praying that it DOES resolve itself, I don't want my perfect little baby to suffer any medical conditions at this early age...
Nothing serious, really, just slight colds and cough according to the pediatrician. But of course it's still a sorry sight to see the little angel give out those coughs and sneezes...the bright side to that is he's such a brave boy, he's still smiling and happy despite the illness. And to think that it's only a couple of days before his baptism, sigh, poor baby.
He's got a new pediatrician, too. It's good that we found one just a block away from the house, a doctor who holds clinic 5 times a week in the afternoons. I just got fed up with his old pediatrician, who's only available like thrice a week for two hours per day -- and who never comes on time either! I got so mad yesterday because it's my baby's first time to be sick, and it's a sorry coincidence that she chose that day to get sick, too.
Okay, okay, I know doctors fall victim to ailments, too...but who can blame a first-time mommy like me for overreacting? So now I'm in the process of debating whether I should continue seeing the old pediatrician to continue with my son's immunization, at the very least, or to completely switch allegiance and see this new doctor whom I've never seen, but whom ironically I trust more than the old one. Mother's instinct? Maybe...
This new doctor found something of concern in my baby. Generally, my son's very, very healthy; in fact, she got surprised when she found out that this was his first bout with the cold. But she found a bilateral hydrocele in his balls. I researched this over the net and found it to be a normal condition among baby boys, and that it should resolve itself before he blows out his first birthday candle.
I'm praying that it DOES resolve itself, I don't want my perfect little baby to suffer any medical conditions at this early age...
Thursday, October 19, 2006
A Whole New World
A whole new world was just opened to my son last Monday...he's just had his first taste of solid food!
Of course, if you look at his food, one really wonders what there is to be rejoicing about...after all, it's just watery rice cereal that tastes like...well, watery cereal. But looking at his expression after taking his first spoonful, he might as well have been eating creme brulee -- he was just so ecstatic!
He's now on his fourth day of solids, so I gave him a treat and let him try some squash. What's nice about my son, I'm discovering, is that he's not afraid to try new food. I've read a lot of times in several write-ups that mommies have to brace themselves to the reality that most kids don't like new food. They further said that this is especially normal in babies who are just beginning to eat. So here I am, prepared for my son to spit up his first few bites and for his little tummy to start acting up on the new things that are making their way in...luckily, our experience was the exact opposite.
My son couldn't have been any more angelic than in those moments when I was offering him spoonfuls of baby food! What's more, his tummy didn't have any adverse reactions to the newly-introduced food. I'm just praying that my son (and his tiny tummy) will continue on with the good behavior.
So now I'm thinking of all the exciting things to feed his growing appetite: apples, pears, bananas, peas, sweet potatoes, carrots, chicken...I don't know who's more excited, me or my son!
This morning, after I've fed him his squash and was watching him take a bath in his tub (another thing he truly enjoys), I was left in awe of his ability to find the most intense pleasure in the simplest things: the splash of the water on his tiny fingers, the texture of the baby food on his little mouth, the funny sound from his rubber duckie...things like that. It's just wonderful to be in touch with another human being with emotions so pure, so eager, so open, that it makes me think...it's not just my son who's experiencing a whole new world right now.
He just opened an entire horizon for me.
Of course, if you look at his food, one really wonders what there is to be rejoicing about...after all, it's just watery rice cereal that tastes like...well, watery cereal. But looking at his expression after taking his first spoonful, he might as well have been eating creme brulee -- he was just so ecstatic!
He's now on his fourth day of solids, so I gave him a treat and let him try some squash. What's nice about my son, I'm discovering, is that he's not afraid to try new food. I've read a lot of times in several write-ups that mommies have to brace themselves to the reality that most kids don't like new food. They further said that this is especially normal in babies who are just beginning to eat. So here I am, prepared for my son to spit up his first few bites and for his little tummy to start acting up on the new things that are making their way in...luckily, our experience was the exact opposite.
My son couldn't have been any more angelic than in those moments when I was offering him spoonfuls of baby food! What's more, his tummy didn't have any adverse reactions to the newly-introduced food. I'm just praying that my son (and his tiny tummy) will continue on with the good behavior.
So now I'm thinking of all the exciting things to feed his growing appetite: apples, pears, bananas, peas, sweet potatoes, carrots, chicken...I don't know who's more excited, me or my son!
This morning, after I've fed him his squash and was watching him take a bath in his tub (another thing he truly enjoys), I was left in awe of his ability to find the most intense pleasure in the simplest things: the splash of the water on his tiny fingers, the texture of the baby food on his little mouth, the funny sound from his rubber duckie...things like that. It's just wonderful to be in touch with another human being with emotions so pure, so eager, so open, that it makes me think...it's not just my son who's experiencing a whole new world right now.
He just opened an entire horizon for me.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Eating Plans
Recently, my husband was diagnosed as having a gall bladder stone, among other things. In his blood chemistry, it was also revealed to us that he has high cholesterol, high uric acid levels, elevated bilirubin count, etc. The only thing that's low in his blood is the good cholesterol, how's that?
Sure, it sounds like a lot of bad news for us; in fact, we were left staring off into space and half-listening to the doctor's litanies. We consulted several other doctors, including a cardiologist and a nutritionist, to help my hubby shape up.
The original doctor we consulted -- a surgeon -- did not give us a lot of hope. Predictably, he advised immediate surgery (what else would he be good for if he did not have any patients to open up, right?). Particularly, it was laparoscopic surgery he was gunning for, a type of microsurgery that would cost us an arm and a leg -- not to mention my husband's gallbladder.
We did a lot of research, and right now, though we are preparing ourselves for the eventuality of surgery, his gallbladder is behaving rather well. Maybe it's too attached to my husband and doesn't want to be removed anytime soon?
The learning curve comes in when it comes to my husband's meals. Dear Lord, I never realized that planning for meals was so stressful! Ever since we lived together, I had an idea that, per se, plotting out food everyday is really hard. But add to that his dietary restrictions -- low-fat, low-carbohydrate and low-purine -- Jesus, he might as well eat paper.
So now, I'm obssessed with websites that will offer us alternatives to his daily fare of pasta in garlic, olive oil and sun-dried tomatoes.
I'm just hoping that my husband's condition will improve, and that surgery will not really be required. I'm just not comfortable with the thought of him losing an organ, no matter how many doctors and specialists claim that it serves no real, life-altering purpose...the irritating thing is that, how come nobody knows one's gallbladder exists until the day it starts to complain and you have to lose it?!?!?
And the irony to the situation is that, just as my husband's cutting off on his food, my son is about to start on solids. Oh well, at least that's something to look forward to.
Just realized, though, that that would also mean more meal planning. Oh great.
Sure, it sounds like a lot of bad news for us; in fact, we were left staring off into space and half-listening to the doctor's litanies. We consulted several other doctors, including a cardiologist and a nutritionist, to help my hubby shape up.
The original doctor we consulted -- a surgeon -- did not give us a lot of hope. Predictably, he advised immediate surgery (what else would he be good for if he did not have any patients to open up, right?). Particularly, it was laparoscopic surgery he was gunning for, a type of microsurgery that would cost us an arm and a leg -- not to mention my husband's gallbladder.
We did a lot of research, and right now, though we are preparing ourselves for the eventuality of surgery, his gallbladder is behaving rather well. Maybe it's too attached to my husband and doesn't want to be removed anytime soon?
The learning curve comes in when it comes to my husband's meals. Dear Lord, I never realized that planning for meals was so stressful! Ever since we lived together, I had an idea that, per se, plotting out food everyday is really hard. But add to that his dietary restrictions -- low-fat, low-carbohydrate and low-purine -- Jesus, he might as well eat paper.
So now, I'm obssessed with websites that will offer us alternatives to his daily fare of pasta in garlic, olive oil and sun-dried tomatoes.
I'm just hoping that my husband's condition will improve, and that surgery will not really be required. I'm just not comfortable with the thought of him losing an organ, no matter how many doctors and specialists claim that it serves no real, life-altering purpose...the irritating thing is that, how come nobody knows one's gallbladder exists until the day it starts to complain and you have to lose it?!?!?
And the irony to the situation is that, just as my husband's cutting off on his food, my son is about to start on solids. Oh well, at least that's something to look forward to.
Just realized, though, that that would also mean more meal planning. Oh great.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Stressed Out
I hate seat plans. And I hate it even more when everybody wants to sit on the "good seats". Supposing I only had 30 "good seats", and, like 150 people want to be on all those "good seats"...and all these 150 people just happen to be your boss from somewhere in the corporate ladder.
Would they consider sitting on someone else's lap in the "good seats" area, just so we wouldn't be accused of giving them less importance than some other boss? If that would be the case, then I can imagine about 5 people occupying the same seats at the same time.
I'm not making a lot of sense here...neither are they.
Would they consider sitting on someone else's lap in the "good seats" area, just so we wouldn't be accused of giving them less importance than some other boss? If that would be the case, then I can imagine about 5 people occupying the same seats at the same time.
I'm not making a lot of sense here...neither are they.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Fragile
A couple of weeks back, three of our colleagues here at the network perished in a tragic accident, in the line of duty.
I don't want to discuss the details anymore because the facts have been discussed to death -- no pun intended -- and they bring back details too graphic for my own sanity (I've seen some pictures that I knew I should never have looked at...I want to hit my head for letting curiosity get the better of me...). What I want to discuss are the emotions stirred in all of us because of that event.
The sudden demise of someone, even if you barely know them, always comes as a shock. It gives one a sudden feeling of vulnerability, a kind of mortality that one doesn't normally pay attention to. The tragedy left us all thinking, "It could have been me." Morbid, I know, but, suddenly, we do not feel so invincible.
It also touched new and barely explored emotions in me, particularly those with relation to my new state of motherhood. In one mass I attended, where the deceased's respective families were present, my eyes were glued to the one-year-old daughter of the reporter. The irony of her situation -- her innocent laughter and coos echoing amidst the silence of tears and inexpressible grief -- certainly brought tears to my eyes. The eulogy of some of our colleagues did nothing to dry my eyes any...one of them recounted that, the moment he found out what happened, the first thing he did was to embrace his son tightly and think, I'm lucky to still be able to do that.
One of the worst fears of a parent, I have learned, is the possibility of leaving behind their children too soon. Or just simply leaving their children, period. At that moment, I thought, what if I left my son too soon? Who would take care of him? Who would provide for him? Would anybody be able to love him as much as I do? So many unspoken fears that I hope I never face, but I know that, at one point, I would have to come to terms with them, anyway.
I don't want to dwell on negative thoughts. Instead, I say a silent prayer of thanks each time I wake up and am able to lovingly kiss my son, to enjoy his playful laughter.
I realized all the more how fragile life is.
I don't want to discuss the details anymore because the facts have been discussed to death -- no pun intended -- and they bring back details too graphic for my own sanity (I've seen some pictures that I knew I should never have looked at...I want to hit my head for letting curiosity get the better of me...). What I want to discuss are the emotions stirred in all of us because of that event.
The sudden demise of someone, even if you barely know them, always comes as a shock. It gives one a sudden feeling of vulnerability, a kind of mortality that one doesn't normally pay attention to. The tragedy left us all thinking, "It could have been me." Morbid, I know, but, suddenly, we do not feel so invincible.
It also touched new and barely explored emotions in me, particularly those with relation to my new state of motherhood. In one mass I attended, where the deceased's respective families were present, my eyes were glued to the one-year-old daughter of the reporter. The irony of her situation -- her innocent laughter and coos echoing amidst the silence of tears and inexpressible grief -- certainly brought tears to my eyes. The eulogy of some of our colleagues did nothing to dry my eyes any...one of them recounted that, the moment he found out what happened, the first thing he did was to embrace his son tightly and think, I'm lucky to still be able to do that.
One of the worst fears of a parent, I have learned, is the possibility of leaving behind their children too soon. Or just simply leaving their children, period. At that moment, I thought, what if I left my son too soon? Who would take care of him? Who would provide for him? Would anybody be able to love him as much as I do? So many unspoken fears that I hope I never face, but I know that, at one point, I would have to come to terms with them, anyway.
I don't want to dwell on negative thoughts. Instead, I say a silent prayer of thanks each time I wake up and am able to lovingly kiss my son, to enjoy his playful laughter.
I realized all the more how fragile life is.
Thursday, August 3, 2006
Mommies in the House
I’ve just had some pleasant mommy chit-chat with some of my officemates. There’s sort of a baby boom here…a few months after I got pregnant, about three other officemates of mine suddenly confirmed their interesting conditions…! Hmm, I’d like to think that I’m sort of a trendsetter here…
It’s surprising how obsessed one can become with pregnancy and motherhood (well, assuming, of course, that you’re happy conceiving your little bundle of joy). We’d affably compare our experiences: the pregnant mommies would ask me what I went through when I was at the same stage as theirs, while those who have older kids would tell me about their experiences as new moms, as well as the things I should look forward to when my baby grows up.
And even as it’s now three months since I gave birth, I would still greedily sift through webpage after webpage on write-ups about pregnancy and parenting. I just couldn’t get enough information crammed in! The result…? I’m now scared to death that my little one could get SBS (I told the entire household to NEVER EVER shake the baby)…or he could be a victim of SIDS (I now obsessively remove any and all pillows around him when he sleeps, and I make sure he sleeps on his back. I’m also close to being an insomniac, just watching over him.)…I’m also wondering in retrospect whether he had acid reflux when he was two weeks old (he used to vomit out his milk in projectile, poor thing)…sigh…so many new fears are awakened in my highly-impressionable mommy brain!
But it’s not to say that I’m living in constant fear. In fact, I live for those moments when my son would surprise me with another one of his milestones. Yesterday, my mother-in-law showed me how he could now roll on his belly all by his little self. When he was about two months old, he showed the capacity to roll over, except that he couldn’t get his arm out from underneath his body…well, yesterday was a different story altogether, he could do it by himself now! My little boy is also becoming increasingly boisterous, enjoying all his toys and would only nap when he’s really, really worn out. Today, they showed me how he loved to sit up propped against the sofa (have some pictures and videos taken, to boot!). We also found out today that he now likes to sit up in his tub when he’s taking a bath, instead of lying down on the bath supporter. He’s growing up so fast!
I’m sure that, like most mothers, I tend to think that my baby is the smartest, most gifted little creature that was ever born this side of the planet. It’s simply amazing how many new things he can learn in the space of a few days. So now, I become increasingly agitated the longer I spend time at the office – it could only mean that I’m missing out on so many new feats!
But I’m glad that my little son is a lot more forgiving towards me than I am to myself. I’m elated that he always has a ready smile for me whenever he’s awake. He also coos delightedly at me whenever I speak to him, as if eagerly telling me about his entire day, happily sharing with me the little things that I’d missed.
I love my son beyond words. I love having a family. I love being a mom!
It’s surprising how obsessed one can become with pregnancy and motherhood (well, assuming, of course, that you’re happy conceiving your little bundle of joy). We’d affably compare our experiences: the pregnant mommies would ask me what I went through when I was at the same stage as theirs, while those who have older kids would tell me about their experiences as new moms, as well as the things I should look forward to when my baby grows up.
And even as it’s now three months since I gave birth, I would still greedily sift through webpage after webpage on write-ups about pregnancy and parenting. I just couldn’t get enough information crammed in! The result…? I’m now scared to death that my little one could get SBS (I told the entire household to NEVER EVER shake the baby)…or he could be a victim of SIDS (I now obsessively remove any and all pillows around him when he sleeps, and I make sure he sleeps on his back. I’m also close to being an insomniac, just watching over him.)…I’m also wondering in retrospect whether he had acid reflux when he was two weeks old (he used to vomit out his milk in projectile, poor thing)…sigh…so many new fears are awakened in my highly-impressionable mommy brain!
But it’s not to say that I’m living in constant fear. In fact, I live for those moments when my son would surprise me with another one of his milestones. Yesterday, my mother-in-law showed me how he could now roll on his belly all by his little self. When he was about two months old, he showed the capacity to roll over, except that he couldn’t get his arm out from underneath his body…well, yesterday was a different story altogether, he could do it by himself now! My little boy is also becoming increasingly boisterous, enjoying all his toys and would only nap when he’s really, really worn out. Today, they showed me how he loved to sit up propped against the sofa (have some pictures and videos taken, to boot!). We also found out today that he now likes to sit up in his tub when he’s taking a bath, instead of lying down on the bath supporter. He’s growing up so fast!
I’m sure that, like most mothers, I tend to think that my baby is the smartest, most gifted little creature that was ever born this side of the planet. It’s simply amazing how many new things he can learn in the space of a few days. So now, I become increasingly agitated the longer I spend time at the office – it could only mean that I’m missing out on so many new feats!
But I’m glad that my little son is a lot more forgiving towards me than I am to myself. I’m elated that he always has a ready smile for me whenever he’s awake. He also coos delightedly at me whenever I speak to him, as if eagerly telling me about his entire day, happily sharing with me the little things that I’d missed.
I love my son beyond words. I love having a family. I love being a mom!
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Counting my Blessings
My husband isn’t coming home tonight. Neither did he a couple of days ago. And many other nights, too…countless nights.
Nope, he does not have a mistress. He’s no alcoholic. He doesn’t spend his hours gambling. He definitely is not into illegal substances.
On the contrary, he is being a good husband and father.
I’m thankful that I have found someone like my husband – hardworking beyond belief, a good provider, very passionate about his profession, and someone who is willing to meet halfway but will never compromise the quality of his work. It is also a great source of pride for me that, among the many people in our network, our bosses entrust the most critical projects to him. He has proven his worth: many times over, he has taken over and “saved” some projects that have almost become disasters (for one reason or another). I can safely say that he is definitely an asset to the company.
This weekend is especially busy for him. Imagine, he has to edit three shows: 1) the final episode of a 10-year running gag show, 2) the pilot episode of the gag show replacing the previous one, and 3) the pilot episode of our network’s biggest and most ambitious project ever. He’s spent many sleepless nights this week. I know he must be exhausted.
As I write this, he is currently at the office editing his shows for airing tomorrow. I miss him terribly. Sure, we’re together constantly, as we go to and from work together all the time, lunch breaks and other mealtimes spent together…but when we’re at the office, we’re so wrapped up in each other’s businesses that we hardly even chat. Now, we even missed our weekend.
No, I’m not complaining. Like I said, it’s just that I miss him so badly. I miss sleeping beside him. Loud snorer as he is, the warmth of his skin comforts me as I drift off to Lala Land. I miss those half-awake moments when I’d find the crook of his arm and snuggle into it.
Well, at least I know that his hours spent away from me and our son translates into being a responsible husband and father. There are so many women out there whose husbands don’t come home to them; but, unlike me, they have entirely different reasons. Check the second paragraph, most of them must be having those problems.
Thankfully, I don’t share that with them.
I can’t thank him enough for being such a good husband to me. Our family’s future is always on top of his list. He has given my son and I a comfortable life: meeting all of our needs, catering to some of our little extravagances and luxuries…even sharing our abundance with our respective families.
I could never forget his love and care for me the day our son was born. For four straight days, he never left my side. From the moment my water bag broke, while I was having labor pains, when I cried in fear when they told me I had to go under the knife, as they pulled our baby from my womb, even inside the recovery room…he was with me all the way. He always tells me how scared he is of the sight of blood…but he went inside the operating room anyway, to see our son at the moment of his birth. To kiss me tenderly as I lay on the table, telling me how much he loves me. He even went as far as to be with me inside the toilet as I took my first poop, as I had a difficult time going around…I couldn’t even reach back to wash myself because my stitches hurt so bad – so he did. How many of you ladies have a husband like that?
I remember reading in my friend’s blog that one of the reasons adultery or infidelity is committed is when we try to find the missing 10% from the relationships we have…neglecting the other 90% that our partners give us so unselfishly.
In my case, sure, there are moments when I get annoyed at his habit of throwing his clothes around the house. There are times when I wish he would be romantic enough to give me flowers on Valentine’s Day, or to surprise me on our anniversary. When his constant forgetfulness drives me up the wall. When I wish that he would be chivalrous enough to open the car door for me and guide me down. That missing 10% from him, I’m sure I could easily find in other men.
But how many of them will be able to give me the 90% that I already have?
So to hell with the roses and the neat house and the obsessive-compulsiveness and the knight-in-shining-armor. I’d rather have someone who will be with me in my joys and in my pains. To comfort me and wipe my tears away when I need him to. Who would look me in the eye and tell me he loves me. Someone who would hold my hand and kiss me for no reason at all. A man who always makes good on his promises. Who understands my need to be alone sometimes. A person who is man enough to swallow his fears because I need him to be strong for me.
I’ve found that and so much more in my husband. I’m sure I will never find another who loves me like he does.
Who needs the missing 10% anyway? I know I don’t.
Nope, he does not have a mistress. He’s no alcoholic. He doesn’t spend his hours gambling. He definitely is not into illegal substances.
On the contrary, he is being a good husband and father.
I’m thankful that I have found someone like my husband – hardworking beyond belief, a good provider, very passionate about his profession, and someone who is willing to meet halfway but will never compromise the quality of his work. It is also a great source of pride for me that, among the many people in our network, our bosses entrust the most critical projects to him. He has proven his worth: many times over, he has taken over and “saved” some projects that have almost become disasters (for one reason or another). I can safely say that he is definitely an asset to the company.
This weekend is especially busy for him. Imagine, he has to edit three shows: 1) the final episode of a 10-year running gag show, 2) the pilot episode of the gag show replacing the previous one, and 3) the pilot episode of our network’s biggest and most ambitious project ever. He’s spent many sleepless nights this week. I know he must be exhausted.
As I write this, he is currently at the office editing his shows for airing tomorrow. I miss him terribly. Sure, we’re together constantly, as we go to and from work together all the time, lunch breaks and other mealtimes spent together…but when we’re at the office, we’re so wrapped up in each other’s businesses that we hardly even chat. Now, we even missed our weekend.
No, I’m not complaining. Like I said, it’s just that I miss him so badly. I miss sleeping beside him. Loud snorer as he is, the warmth of his skin comforts me as I drift off to Lala Land. I miss those half-awake moments when I’d find the crook of his arm and snuggle into it.
Well, at least I know that his hours spent away from me and our son translates into being a responsible husband and father. There are so many women out there whose husbands don’t come home to them; but, unlike me, they have entirely different reasons. Check the second paragraph, most of them must be having those problems.
Thankfully, I don’t share that with them.
I can’t thank him enough for being such a good husband to me. Our family’s future is always on top of his list. He has given my son and I a comfortable life: meeting all of our needs, catering to some of our little extravagances and luxuries…even sharing our abundance with our respective families.
I could never forget his love and care for me the day our son was born. For four straight days, he never left my side. From the moment my water bag broke, while I was having labor pains, when I cried in fear when they told me I had to go under the knife, as they pulled our baby from my womb, even inside the recovery room…he was with me all the way. He always tells me how scared he is of the sight of blood…but he went inside the operating room anyway, to see our son at the moment of his birth. To kiss me tenderly as I lay on the table, telling me how much he loves me. He even went as far as to be with me inside the toilet as I took my first poop, as I had a difficult time going around…I couldn’t even reach back to wash myself because my stitches hurt so bad – so he did. How many of you ladies have a husband like that?
I remember reading in my friend’s blog that one of the reasons adultery or infidelity is committed is when we try to find the missing 10% from the relationships we have…neglecting the other 90% that our partners give us so unselfishly.
In my case, sure, there are moments when I get annoyed at his habit of throwing his clothes around the house. There are times when I wish he would be romantic enough to give me flowers on Valentine’s Day, or to surprise me on our anniversary. When his constant forgetfulness drives me up the wall. When I wish that he would be chivalrous enough to open the car door for me and guide me down. That missing 10% from him, I’m sure I could easily find in other men.
But how many of them will be able to give me the 90% that I already have?
So to hell with the roses and the neat house and the obsessive-compulsiveness and the knight-in-shining-armor. I’d rather have someone who will be with me in my joys and in my pains. To comfort me and wipe my tears away when I need him to. Who would look me in the eye and tell me he loves me. Someone who would hold my hand and kiss me for no reason at all. A man who always makes good on his promises. Who understands my need to be alone sometimes. A person who is man enough to swallow his fears because I need him to be strong for me.
I’ve found that and so much more in my husband. I’m sure I will never find another who loves me like he does.
Who needs the missing 10% anyway? I know I don’t.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Rainy Day Musings
Finally, the big event is over.
I'm kind of ambivalent on the turnout, though...in terms of attendance, it way exceeded our expectations. Imagine, we were only prepared for 120 people, max, but the actual headcount soared to 170. A happy problem, indeed!
However, in terms of organization, I felt that I could've done better. I don't want to pass the blame on other people, but I honestly think that there were just too many changes, too many departments dipping into the project, that, in the end, we were the ones who suffered. Plus, it just sucks that the people who were supposed to be spearheading this project in the first place were all acting like prissy little bitches...their royal highnesses just wanted to sit prettily in their gowns; they're fast to pass the ball back at us whenever we try to get their support. At times, they go as far as abandoning their post. Every year, each time we hold events like these, they act like pampered brats, when, in fact, they should be the ones busting their asses to put everything together. If only all the decisions could come from our end, then, perhaps, things could have been a little better.
I also felt that we were seriously undermanned...like I said, attendance exceeded our expectations, and the simple and quiet event that we had in mind did not quite turn out like that. Come to think of it, the music playing during set-up could've been prophetic: "that's not the way we planned it, that's not the way we planned our lives..."
Oh well, what's done is done. At least we were able to see it through.
On a lighter note, after that brouhaha was over and done with, I got to spend four lovely days with my son. Oh, and last Saturday, my hubby and I even treated him to his first day out! Actually, what started it was his scheduled visit to the doctor for his immunization...since it was a Saturday, my hubby's family decided to come with us so we could drop them off at a nearby mall. And, because it was a weekend, you could just imagine the queue to the pediatrician's office, Heavens, it was a virtual kiddie party at the lobby.
To make the long story short, we left the doctor's office at around 1:00 pm (after lining up from 9:00 am, Jesus...!), and hubby and I decided to go along to the mall to do our grocery shopping as well.
My son's eyes were just ENORMOUS when we were going around! It was thrilling to see him so excited about everything...for me, it's like seeing my world in an entire new light. At first, we brought him around in his stroller, but we decided to pick up a baby carrier, and in the end, it was a really wise decision for us because he was afforded a better view. The little sweetie just didn't want to close his eyes. He even forgot to ask for his bottle, immersed as he was with his surroundings. However reluctant I was to bring him out that day, my doubts were quickly erased after seeing his expression...now, I can't wait to plan our next "excursion" =) And, happily, the little angel forgot the pain from his shots.
My experience with my son that day made me mull over some points in my life today. This morning, I was going through some of my Friendster friends' blogs, and I'm just...amazed...? fascinated...? shocked...? that, like them, my days are filled with so many worries, so many concerns that, to a baby like my son, all seem unimportant. To him, a day begins with a bright, happy smile and ends with a contented little snore...and everything in between is just sunshine and laughter. Sure, he has his crying moments, but those quickly pass by and are soon replaced with his coos and happy shrieks. And all the things he sees are just indescribably exciting.
Just when did we [adults] lose our fascination with the world? When have we ceased to find joy in a ray of sunshine, delight in a colorful flower? When did we start drowning in worldly concerns...and when will it ever stop?
I envy my son his peace of mind and his happy little thoughts. If only I could keep him protected forever.
I'm kind of ambivalent on the turnout, though...in terms of attendance, it way exceeded our expectations. Imagine, we were only prepared for 120 people, max, but the actual headcount soared to 170. A happy problem, indeed!
However, in terms of organization, I felt that I could've done better. I don't want to pass the blame on other people, but I honestly think that there were just too many changes, too many departments dipping into the project, that, in the end, we were the ones who suffered. Plus, it just sucks that the people who were supposed to be spearheading this project in the first place were all acting like prissy little bitches...their royal highnesses just wanted to sit prettily in their gowns; they're fast to pass the ball back at us whenever we try to get their support. At times, they go as far as abandoning their post. Every year, each time we hold events like these, they act like pampered brats, when, in fact, they should be the ones busting their asses to put everything together. If only all the decisions could come from our end, then, perhaps, things could have been a little better.
I also felt that we were seriously undermanned...like I said, attendance exceeded our expectations, and the simple and quiet event that we had in mind did not quite turn out like that. Come to think of it, the music playing during set-up could've been prophetic: "that's not the way we planned it, that's not the way we planned our lives..."
Oh well, what's done is done. At least we were able to see it through.
On a lighter note, after that brouhaha was over and done with, I got to spend four lovely days with my son. Oh, and last Saturday, my hubby and I even treated him to his first day out! Actually, what started it was his scheduled visit to the doctor for his immunization...since it was a Saturday, my hubby's family decided to come with us so we could drop them off at a nearby mall. And, because it was a weekend, you could just imagine the queue to the pediatrician's office, Heavens, it was a virtual kiddie party at the lobby.
To make the long story short, we left the doctor's office at around 1:00 pm (after lining up from 9:00 am, Jesus...!), and hubby and I decided to go along to the mall to do our grocery shopping as well.
My son's eyes were just ENORMOUS when we were going around! It was thrilling to see him so excited about everything...for me, it's like seeing my world in an entire new light. At first, we brought him around in his stroller, but we decided to pick up a baby carrier, and in the end, it was a really wise decision for us because he was afforded a better view. The little sweetie just didn't want to close his eyes. He even forgot to ask for his bottle, immersed as he was with his surroundings. However reluctant I was to bring him out that day, my doubts were quickly erased after seeing his expression...now, I can't wait to plan our next "excursion" =) And, happily, the little angel forgot the pain from his shots.
My experience with my son that day made me mull over some points in my life today. This morning, I was going through some of my Friendster friends' blogs, and I'm just...amazed...? fascinated...? shocked...? that, like them, my days are filled with so many worries, so many concerns that, to a baby like my son, all seem unimportant. To him, a day begins with a bright, happy smile and ends with a contented little snore...and everything in between is just sunshine and laughter. Sure, he has his crying moments, but those quickly pass by and are soon replaced with his coos and happy shrieks. And all the things he sees are just indescribably exciting.
Just when did we [adults] lose our fascination with the world? When have we ceased to find joy in a ray of sunshine, delight in a colorful flower? When did we start drowning in worldly concerns...and when will it ever stop?
I envy my son his peace of mind and his happy little thoughts. If only I could keep him protected forever.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Dreary Thoughts on a Gloomy Sunday
Sunday afternoon and I'm here at the office.
It's three days and counting before the big event -- that's our network Press Launch on Wednesday evening. I'm trying to collect my thoughts, clear my mind a bit to get all the odds and ends together. I'm obssessing on whether I'm forgetting any minute details, if I forgot to remind someone to do something, if there's anything important that slipped my mind...Heaven forbid!
But through my dizzying schedules these past couple of weeks, I couldn't help but feel guilty. The times I've been spending with my son are a lot less than I would have wanted: I have to leave early for meetings and other important things to do...I arrive late because of details that require my attention. I could hardly get up in the morning, and in the late evenings when I arrive, I'm so tired I could hardly open my eyes.
I become increasingly guilty especially when I have to entrust my little angel to my mother-in-law in the wee hours of the morning. After an entire day's worth of stress, my body just can't handle early morning trysts with the baby. I just need to rest.
Oh yeah, I try to compensate. Even when my body is craving for a few more hours of shut-eye, I push myself awake to catch my son's delightful smiles. I love it when I catch my son just waking up, as he drowsily catches my eyes and gives a sweet, sweet, sleepy little smile. It brings tears to my eyes, I swear. I make sure to leave at the very last moment that my schedule will permit me, cuddling him close to me and showering him with kisses.
My boy always seems to sense whenever I'm about to leave for work. No matter how deeply asleep he is, he always wakes up just in time to see me go. It's a bittersweet moment for me: it flatters me to no end that my son values the few minutes' worth of cuddles and kisses, but it also tortures me to think that he would have to "steal" those times with me. I miss my post-operative days when we would just be together the entire day. If I had a choice, I would rather drown myself in his sweet smiles than sit here in the office.
It's a good thing I didn't go to work last Friday, at least I spent a little more time with him...plus yesterday's a Saturday, technically there's no work, so that's another day well-spent together. But these days, I'm beginning to realize the downside to my type of job. Even when I'm home, I have to stay in front of the computer, emailing to no end...or else spend hours on the phone, coordinating stuff that just wouldn't wait. ***Sigh*** my son's just a few feet away, and I couldn't even go play with him...
So after this friggin' launch is done, I don't plan to remove myself from my son's side for a long time. I swear.
It's three days and counting before the big event -- that's our network Press Launch on Wednesday evening. I'm trying to collect my thoughts, clear my mind a bit to get all the odds and ends together. I'm obssessing on whether I'm forgetting any minute details, if I forgot to remind someone to do something, if there's anything important that slipped my mind...Heaven forbid!
But through my dizzying schedules these past couple of weeks, I couldn't help but feel guilty. The times I've been spending with my son are a lot less than I would have wanted: I have to leave early for meetings and other important things to do...I arrive late because of details that require my attention. I could hardly get up in the morning, and in the late evenings when I arrive, I'm so tired I could hardly open my eyes.
I become increasingly guilty especially when I have to entrust my little angel to my mother-in-law in the wee hours of the morning. After an entire day's worth of stress, my body just can't handle early morning trysts with the baby. I just need to rest.
Oh yeah, I try to compensate. Even when my body is craving for a few more hours of shut-eye, I push myself awake to catch my son's delightful smiles. I love it when I catch my son just waking up, as he drowsily catches my eyes and gives a sweet, sweet, sleepy little smile. It brings tears to my eyes, I swear. I make sure to leave at the very last moment that my schedule will permit me, cuddling him close to me and showering him with kisses.
My boy always seems to sense whenever I'm about to leave for work. No matter how deeply asleep he is, he always wakes up just in time to see me go. It's a bittersweet moment for me: it flatters me to no end that my son values the few minutes' worth of cuddles and kisses, but it also tortures me to think that he would have to "steal" those times with me. I miss my post-operative days when we would just be together the entire day. If I had a choice, I would rather drown myself in his sweet smiles than sit here in the office.
It's a good thing I didn't go to work last Friday, at least I spent a little more time with him...plus yesterday's a Saturday, technically there's no work, so that's another day well-spent together. But these days, I'm beginning to realize the downside to my type of job. Even when I'm home, I have to stay in front of the computer, emailing to no end...or else spend hours on the phone, coordinating stuff that just wouldn't wait. ***Sigh*** my son's just a few feet away, and I couldn't even go play with him...
So after this friggin' launch is done, I don't plan to remove myself from my son's side for a long time. I swear.
Friday, July 14, 2006
New Blog for a New Start
Hmmm...a fresh, clean slate, and I have no idea where to start. But let's give this a try.
I started a blog sometime last year, when Friendster offered subscribers their very own blogspots. I greeted this novelty with much enthusiasm, as, at that time, I had been very eager to start one but had no idea how. For a time, I got attached with my blog, pouring out to it the various events in my life, from the important to the mundane.
However, someone at Friendster had the bright idea to send out alerts to all your friends whenever you posted something new. I really hated it when my inbox gets flooded with all sorts of alerts...but what annoyed me the most was that I couldn't turn this feature off...which meant that, whenever I updated mine, I would inevitably end up doing the same thing to my friends' inboxes.
Now, we just couldn't have that, could we?
So here we are, starting a new blog, just in time for a new and very interesting phase in my life: motherhood. Yes, I am a proud mother of a beautiful 2 1/2 month old baby boy, the love of my life. I wanted to have my own space where I could freely talk about the wonderful changes in my life without having to burden my friends with constant alerts...being a new mother, I am naturally very loquacious about every little thing that concerns my boy or my life with him, and what better way to give way to those thoughts than to start an entire new blog?
Of course, this blog will not be solely dedicated to my baby (although I expect to talk about him quite a lot!). Like my old Friendster blog, I will continue to share my daily experiences, the highs and lows of my everyday life...
***Sigh*** It's always nice to have something new, don't you think?
I started a blog sometime last year, when Friendster offered subscribers their very own blogspots. I greeted this novelty with much enthusiasm, as, at that time, I had been very eager to start one but had no idea how. For a time, I got attached with my blog, pouring out to it the various events in my life, from the important to the mundane.
However, someone at Friendster had the bright idea to send out alerts to all your friends whenever you posted something new. I really hated it when my inbox gets flooded with all sorts of alerts...but what annoyed me the most was that I couldn't turn this feature off...which meant that, whenever I updated mine, I would inevitably end up doing the same thing to my friends' inboxes.
Now, we just couldn't have that, could we?
So here we are, starting a new blog, just in time for a new and very interesting phase in my life: motherhood. Yes, I am a proud mother of a beautiful 2 1/2 month old baby boy, the love of my life. I wanted to have my own space where I could freely talk about the wonderful changes in my life without having to burden my friends with constant alerts...being a new mother, I am naturally very loquacious about every little thing that concerns my boy or my life with him, and what better way to give way to those thoughts than to start an entire new blog?
Of course, this blog will not be solely dedicated to my baby (although I expect to talk about him quite a lot!). Like my old Friendster blog, I will continue to share my daily experiences, the highs and lows of my everyday life...
***Sigh*** It's always nice to have something new, don't you think?
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